May 13

The Last Stretch

Hi everyone,

With only one class left to Zoom through, I am on hours away from completing my first year of graduate school!

I’m honestly kind of at lost of words. I did not think it would end like this (at all) but I’m still very excited to almost be done with the semester. It has been long, demanding, and I wouldn’t change it for anything else. While there were definitely times I did not think I would get assignments done or turned in on time, I somehow managed to pull through and submit things on a timely manner. I am grateful for this school year, honestly. It has taught me about my ability to hang in there during a global pandemic! I genuinely thought I would have succumbed to the pressures of online learning, but I preserved and thrived. I never believed I could do that. I am definitely someone who needs the physical space and environment of a university setting to keep up with deadlines and assignments. I also am someone who is able to leave the personal behind when I am in class on my university’s campus. It’s almost like I become a whole other person once I’m at school. With this shelter in place order, I had to reconfigure that ability. I had to somehow be a student at home and that was at times much more difficult than I expected it to. However tedious it was though, I did it!  I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a student at Stan State, I don’t know if I would have managed so well elsewhere.

I can’t believe I am already celebrating ~almost~ being done with my first year of undergrad!! I can still remember celebrating the “last stretch” during my first year of undergrad. In the moment, that final stretch was intimidating, but today I can’t help but miss all the moments that made up that one larger moment. As a first generation student, the entire college experience has been new to me each and every term. Incoming students are always told about how good it is to go to college, but no one really tells you about the excitement of almost being DONE with your first year, arguably one of the most difficult ones too due to everything being so new to you. There I was, 19 years old, and ready to take my last final in one of the larger classrooms. I still remember the feeling of everyone walking towards class, a room that sat over 100 students. Although we did not stop to speak to one another, I felt like we were all in that together. It was a beautiful moment!

Today I am celebrating the last stretch and even though it’s a whole different setting, it is still just as meaningful. Every small win is part of the larger victory, and I am ready.

April 29

Instagram Takeover!

Hi everyone,

I’m pretty excited to share that I will be participating in an Instagram takeover for the first time this Friday! Anyone interested in checking it out and joining me should head over and follow @StanAdmissions on Instagram 😀

Some things I expected to talk about include the graduate student life, campus layout, things to do in Turlock, and maybe a few tips on how to be successful at Stan State. I’m super honored and excited to partake in this because I feel I will be providing a graduate narrative that is focused not only on highlighting the grad experience, but also the undergrad resources and spaces that exist at Stan State that did not exist at my undergrad institution.

I’m also excited to do this because on Friday because it’ll be May 1st, which is the last day to SIR if you’re an incoming first-year! I hope my words resonate with potential students who weigh their options. I still remember when I SIRd in high school. It was such a stressful moment. I was really torn between going to the university I wanted to attend and attending the one others wanted me to. I did not only SIR once after high school, I also had to SIR when I transferred from one 4 year institution to another 4 year institution. Both in high school and as a college student, the SIR deadline was something I knew would be a very definitive moment in my life.

If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to send them my way! I want to touch on a variety of topics and hope I am able to deliver quality content. My peers have been doing such a great job honestly. I’m so excited! 🙂

April 26

A Note for Current Me About Past Me

Hi Manny,

Quarantine has been in effect for over a month now and as you look forward, you can’t help but also look at your past and question yourself. Don’t worry, you and so many other first generation college students, especially students of color, will probably experience this form of questioning as you navigate unfamiliar situations and environments.

Throughout undergrad, you did everything you could with what you had at the time. As you begin long process of starting applications for future programs and fellowships you’re interested in, remember to breathe. Plus, let’s face it: you did well in undergrad. As a first generation student, and the first in your family on the road to a university degree, you accomplished so much. From Dean’s List, 4.0s (from time to time), a myriad of scholarships, the opportunity to study abroad, endless friends, and so on, you truly DID THAT!

I know this quarantine has been difficult. It would be wild if it wasn’t, right? Celebrate where you are now: in the graduate program you wanted to be in for years at the specific university too!

If you could go back in time and re-do anything, what would you actually do differently? I don’t want to be the one to burst the bubble but I have to: you most likely wouldn’t approach much differently. Ok, sure, you probably would have taken an umbrella with you that one day you didn’t think it was actually going to rain, and then it did; but other than that, throughout undergrad, you did the absolute best with what you had! Don’t forget that and don’t let the intimidation stemming from fellowship questionnaires, current PhD students’ profiles, and scholarship requirements you interested in worry you NOW. They can try to blur your perception, but you will overcome it all and with clarity.

You, Manny, the first in your family to enroll in university, and at a large institution (and your goal school), strived and thrived when you were pressed with setbacks. Not once or twice, but many times!

Shift the narrative and let this quarantine be a time to accept your outcomes, not challenge them.

First generation students will always ask themselves if they’re “enough” or “worthy,” and we (you) need to full heartedly embrace that you are.

^_^,
Manny

April 13

Why I Chose Stan State

Everyone’s undergrad experience is different. Sometimes the most difficult thing to discover is your major, interests, and ambitions. For many first-gen students, not giving in to imposter syndrome is not just an on-going matter, it can be a routine hindrance. It can tedious enough to find out what we (actually) find interests in and committing to it. On top of that, undergrad can go by so quickly and deciding where to go and what to do can be extremely cloudy and stressful. The hardest thing for me to answer throughout my undergrad career has been the big question: “Once you graduate, what’s next?”

It is now April 2020. In two months it’ll be my full-year college graduation anniversary! I am so excited to celebrate turning one. Somehow through all the essays, projects, homework assignments, and endless sea of classes and major requirements, I managed to answer that once daunting question and am now a full-time student in the social work masters program at Stan State! *pats myself on the back** 

Getting here was not easy, though. I had so much to decide on. I was torn between accepting my offer of admission into some very big and extremely known schools or accepting my offer from a school that’s a part of the largest four-year public university system in the United States. After weighing all the pros and cons, I knew I had to choose the school that fit my interests best. I was looking at things like:

· Class sizes

· Graduation and retention rates

· Financial aid offers

· Professors backgrounds

· Student Demographics

· City and University Culture 

In the end, I chose the MSW program that offered the small class sizes, high graduation rates, supportive financial aid offer, made up of diverse professors, a Hispanic Serving Institution (HSI), and located in a city I can easily navigate. Surprisingly, I also chose a school that has shifted my entire professional and academic objectives.

Prior to enrolling in the MSW program, I was determined on completing the masters and taking a very large break (time-wise) from the academic setting. I told myself I would only ever re-enter the university for another master or to polish up on field practice and theory. I never, not once, thought I would enter this MSW program and consider pursuing a Ph.D. 

Throughout undergrad, at a very large research institution, I never cared for research. Who knows how, but very, very quickly Stan State instilled within me the excitement to pursue research as not only a career but also as an interest. 

While I say I chose Stan State, I also like to think that Stan State chose me. Had I gone elsewhere, I don’t know if I would contemplate pursuing a Ph.D. so soon. I am grateful this university has already helped me determine the next chapters of my life even while I work to experience fully this current one. 

April 8

Update on Online Classes

Hello all,

Today I visited campus to pick up a device the university is lending students and I managed to captured the image below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was surprised to find a campus with some activity to it. There were people exercising, construction going on, and a few vehicles in the student parking lots. However, it was extremely empty in comparison to normal days where life is going on all around the university. All in all, it was nice to be back on campus. I forgot how beautiful campus can be. Spring is definitely in the air and campus is looking greener. Campus felt so rejuvenating. Simply walking around campus for a second made me forget that this pandemic is going on.

Online classes are going (okay). Professors seem to be working with caution and doing all they can to ensure that we’re not feeling too pressured. I am grateful for that. I cannot imagine continuing completely like normal because this is not normal. I’ve realized that online classes have given me a greater interest in researching our class topics in ways that extend beyond the mandatory readings. During the normal school term, it can be difficult to do the assigned reading let alone anything extra. Now that I have more time on my hands, I am doing just that. I am not only reading my assigned texts but also googling dates, figures, and events in order to give myself more context. I wish I was doing this before! It would definitely have given me a firmer grasp on class topics.

 

I do miss in-person instruction but this is fine. I miss being a student inside a classroom, with a professor, but this is necessary right now so it’s fine. I hope everyone else is doing okay! This is our new normal and it’ll take some time to fully adjust to but with everything going “smoothly” so far academically, I have no room to complain.

I just know that in some time, this will seem like such a long time ago and it’ll make me appreciate the beauty that is Stan State in more profound ways.

March 25

Happy Birthday to Me :)

Hello friends,

~HAPPY ARIES SEASO! AS THE FIRST SIGN IN THE ZODIAC, HERE IS TO NEW BEGINNINGS~

Today is my birthday :)! I am so grateful to be celebrating another full year around the sun. I am thankful the universe has granted me health, community, and what seems like endless prospects. I am extremely privileged to be where I am in life. I know this moment–being a grad student at Stan State–will, in no time, seem like such a long time ago. That is nerve wrecking, and another reason I take in everything around me with nothing but optimism and appreciation.

I’ve never been big on birthdays, at least not my own. I’m sure many of us can attest to feeling guilty for putting ourselves in even the slightest of spotlights and instead choose to make space for others instead of taking any up for ourselves. While it is great to be humble, I am recognizing there is difference between being humble and being self-less. It’s 2020 and with everything happening around the state and country, we should be celebrating ourselves more than ever!

This birthday, I am celebrating embracing my capabilities and interests in entering academia. As a first generation student, I am one of the “lucky ones” and feel it is my duty to enter academic spaces with nothing but confidence in order to help others do the same later. Besides, it would be very un-Aries of me to do otherwise! As an Aries, I am ruled by Mars, whose astrological symbolism represents competitive, warrior-like energy.

Only a few months ago I visited my friends at my undergrad institution (who are still undergrads) and was told I am one of the ones who’s “made it,” which was something I had yet to be told so bluntly. Since then, I refuse to deny it. I am making it through a system that can be difficult to navigate when you’re the first in your immediate and extended family to enter. I am making it through a system that doesn’t always offer a short-cut but instead what seems like numerous obstacles. I am making it through a system that truly tests me and my ability to deal with bureaucratic guidelines. Amidst all of these barriers and limitations, am making it, and for all these reasons and more, I celebrate myself and any/all first generation students navigating the education pipeline.

This year I am celebrating myself during a time of immense political and economic uncertainty. These are difficult times for us all but I know that a year from now I will be be celebrating having made it through them in every way possible. I will be celebrating my growth then. I will also be celebrating my growth to come, as I am doing now.

Happy birthday to me! I may still not be permitted to rent a car without extra fees, but I am still celebrating myself and all the other Aries of the globe. Us fire signs may not be having the BEST fire season this year, but we’re still the fun sign (if I do say so myself).

March 23

Social Distancing and Keeping Busy

Hello friends,

We’re living in very uncertain times (to say the least) and I hope everyone is doing well. I’ve forgotten how long a day is when it isn’t consumed by things like getting to class, internship commitments, or job duties. Now that California Governor Gavin Newsom has ordered all Californians to stay home for 30 days, I’ve been busy searching for new hobbies and getting back to old ones.

This 30 day shelter in place order is an opportunity to ground myself and my future objectives. I am taking this time to focus on myself and I truly mean that. On Twitter and other online mediums, people throw that phrase out there and don’t really explain it. I interpret “focusing on myself” as a chance to critique myself constructively, and develop plans to grow from them. I am assessing myself and my current progress, looking for points of improvement, and *aiming* to surpass them. This isn’t easy, though. As the author of my own life, it’s incredibly effortless to view myself and my actions/decisions in the best of lights. I am trying to look beyond that and thankfully have a lot of genuine people around me to do that. My friends and I all want to see ourselves strive and thrive. We want to know that we are really being the best that we can be, and in the name of friendship, offer one another critiques to develop. I’m so grateful for this. In undergrad I didn’t really have this. Everyone was kind of just “doing their own thing,” trying to decide on ways to answer the big question of “What’s Next?” Now that I’m in grad school, my time spent with others feel much more sustainable and organic.

Some of my biggest critiques and assessments include gaging PhD programs and the route(s) to get to them. I know that I want to attend a research intensive (R1) university, and I’m trying to layout the map to get there. I am doing more program-related research, looking at PhD application processes, and keeping my mind open to any/all possibilities. I’ve also taken it upon myself to ask professors directly for research opportunities.

In undergrad, I studied abroad at the National Autonomous University of Mexico (UNAM) in Mexico City. In many ways, UNAM is the largest most prestigious public university in all of Mexico. Most of my masters thesis will be centered on Mexico City culture–my favorite city–so it is a given that I aspire to do research at UNAM or any institution within Mexico City. I have reached out to faculty from universities here in California to help connect me with faculty or staff at UNAM to make my current research objectives come to fruition. I will be continuing making connections and simply introducing myself and my intentions during this pandemic. This, hopefully, will help make the process of conducting research at UNAM or in Mexico City much simpler later.

Below is a photo of me at UNAM :)!

I can definitely say that socially distancing is going as fine. My professors are very supportive through this (all classes have transitioned to online instruction). Students in the MSW program, myself included, are constantly hearing from them via email. They always remind us that these uncertain times can call for different measures in terms of tackling coursework and they’re be available to guide us through that process. I’m so thankful for this because I cannot imagine continuing classes online without their assurance.

I know I’m handling this social distancing well because of the multiple communities around me. That includes my family, friend circles, and academic support systems. I am blessed and fortunate. These uncertain times are not ideal but they’re necessary, so I’m okay.

March 16

Becoming Published? A Grad Student’s Goal

Hello friends,

I hope everyone has had an eventful yet positive week. I know my week was very fluid in comparison with the previous weeks in the semester, but it ended up going pretty well. A lot of my time now will be consumed with working on getting published (in a peer-reviewed article) and I am so happy to share that that goal is becoming more of a reality each day.

What this means is that the research I am participating in now (as well as later in my grad student career) will eventually be vetted by academics from specific journals and if the work I am participating in moves passed the submission phase and is approved, will become published! This is so big!

As an aspiring PhD student, I need and want to have my name out there in as many journals as I can. Becoming published also means that I am able to present my work at conferences across the state and beyond. A published article will also be extremely validating. It would be a much needed reminder that my work is worthy and on the right path (whatever that may be).

I am currently working as a research assistant with some of the best professors I’ve had to date, and some of the projects we’re working on as a team may very well become published by the end the year (hopefully), and because I am a co-researcher, I will also be a co-author!

I really can’t believe that I have been given this opportunity at Stan State, but I need to because it is happening!

Aside from that project, I have also submitted the first part of what will become my masters thesis and was given some very inspiring words from my professor. My professor told me that the project I plan on investing the next few months on will be very sophisticated, in-depth, and worthy of submission in a journal article! I definitely will share more on that with time, but for now, I am glad to know that my professor sees potential in my work.

I am so thankful that Stan State has given me these opportunities. Even if they don’t happen immediately and will probably be very time consuming, I’m ecstatic to know that I at least have the option to try. Had I decided to enroll at some bigger school and program, I don’t think I’d be able to do half the things I am doing now. I would simply be another fish in the pond. Here at Stan State, I don’t feel limited or restrained to pursue these academic interests. I’m grateful that the MSW program I am in is also not one that is strictly career or practice oriented. It is led by academics who value, appreciate, and embrace research.

With everything that is going on right now across the state, this week, one full of affirmations, has reminded to never look down on where we are today because it is the platform we will use to elevate ourselves tomorrow. The time and energy invested in getting to point B will all be worthwhile no matter how difficult it may be at the moment. It’s all a process and I’m thankfully experiencing it with a great network and support system at Stan State.

 

March 9

Grounding My Grad School Experiences in Purpose

Hi friends,

The semester is getting so real every week with deadlines, midterms, projects, and so on. It can be stressful but moments like these always serve as a huge reminder of my purpose in grad school.

Personally, I chose to commit to grad school because I know a lot of first-generation and Latino students don’t and I want to help end this. As a first-gen student, this MSW, or any degree for that matter, is so meaningful to me. My MSW, or the chance to pursue it, represents more to me than the social mobility it will one day afford me. The MSW will be for my siblings who look up to me for guidance, for my fellow community members whose potential has been barred from coming to fruition, and for immigrants and refugees in California and elsewhere whose rights I am extremely passionate about. The MSW will undoubtedly be the truest manifestation of my resiliency, virtuosity, and tenacity.

I like to reflect regularly. I think it’s important to assess my capacities and find areas of improvement. Reflecting has also instilled within me a reminder to re-ground myself, especially when I feel as though things are out of hand or overwhelming. Reflecting has also humbled me in so many ways. While not a day goes by where I don’t count my blessings in taking up space at a university, I also refuse to allow my participation in the ivory tower to cloud my ability to acknowledge my beginnings. Although I am now in a master’s program, the responsibility, privilege, and opportunity that stems from higher education never fails to cross my mind.

As a first-gen student, another reason I am passionate about pursuing a PhD is to give back to my community, to take up space in a university, and hopefully inspire others to enter academia. University (first-gen) students always talk about the importance of representation in the university, and I’m thankful the MSW program I’m in is representative of addressing that need.

Even though it can be stressful, grounding my grad school experience  in purpose keeps me motivated and going. Purpose is everything (I think). ^_^

March 2

New Month, New Prospects

Hello everyone! 🙂

I hope Pisces season is going well for everyone (still). This weekend I submitted my application to the California Pre-Doctoral Program! I have spent months working on my application. I was exhausted and after having my professors give me a generous amount of feedback, I felt ready to submit. Who knows what will happen, but I am proud of myself for applying! I will keep everyone updated :)!

I am getting back home from a long weekend in Los Angeles (LA). I took advantage of being done with midterms to visit my friends from undergrad.  I have not been to LA in a while and every time I am there, I am reminded of how much I appreciate the smaller city of Turlock. I am glad I ended February in LA and came back home to a new month in Turlock.

LA was a lot of fun. I am a fan of the beach, the sun, and the big city vibe, and in general, a change in environment and geography every once in a while. But after a few days away from home, I was ready to come back to the calm, yet lively city of Turlock. Something about Turlock’s size is just so comfortable for me. I feel as though here I can grow and not feel so pressured or rushed. In LA I felt like I had to keep going or else I would get lost in the traffic. It was fun at first but I am so glad that is not my day to day experience.

Turlock is surrounded by smaller towns and this makes Turlock a popular hub for shopping and spending time with others. The city of Turlock may not be LA big, but it has so much to offer. I am also learning more of the city as the school year goes on. Additionally, this week the Congressman who represents Turlock in the capitol will at Stan State! I’m excited to meet him and hear what he has to say to the community.

While I was in LA having a fun time, I recognized that I missed the local, iconic locations in Turlock. Some of my favorite places to eat and hangout with friends are in Turlock and the surrounding areas.  Some of those favorite things to do in Turlock include getting my brows threaded at Eyebrows Masters, watching movies at the Regal theater, and spending an evening at Angelini’s Italian Restaurant in downtown with friends.

I hope this week goes pretty well for all of us! It’s a new month and I’m super excited for what’s to come. Similarly to “new year, new me,” I like to view new months as fresh starts and opportunities to pick up where I left off or start something anew altogether.

Here’s to a new month and new prosepcts! :]